99 Problems Confidence Ain’t One


Good Day Friends!  I’m back with another message and today I want to talk about that one thing that can make all the difference in any situation, and that is your confidence.  I said confidence! You know that swagger, bravado, and tone that establishes who you are to others, and most importantly to yourself.  Confidence is defined as a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.  It is important to also note that the root word of confidence is confide which means trust in something, and the main something we all can work to trust in more is ourselves.

The concept of 99 problems is a reference from the 2003 Jay-Z hit song which is titled “99 Problems”.  In this song Jay speaks to various situations in which either record labels, magazines, or even police officers have created problems for him, however he refrains in saying that he’s got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.

 

 

This is how I envision his one non-problem

 

 


Throughout our days, weeks, and lives there will often be situations that present themselves as problems.  Problems come in many forms and can be found in anything that is difficult to deal with.  In Jay’s example his problems could have stemmed from many things that totaled 99, but the one confiding hope that he maintains is that his bitch (female dog) is potty trained, doesn’t pull when on a  leash, or even chew on furniture and obeys his every command.  That’s a good girl.

You see we all have problems, and I personally encounter them more often when I am faced with new situations of challenge and difficulty as I learn and grow.  Problems and challenges are a part of the development process, and a constant in life as we seek to understand an always evolving world.
The one thing that we should all work to make sure never becomes our one problem is our self-confidence.  Confidence and believe in yourself is critical to enjoying a happy life, and the moment you begin to doubt the abilities and qualities you posses you have 100 problems.  100 is a complete number representation, and you must not let your problems take complete control of you.


You must believe in yourself, and this begins with the way you view your ability to affect your reality.   The characteristics of Trusting, Learning, and Loving yourself are three qualities that will aid in the building of your self-confidence.

Trusting – believe that what ever you desire is possible, and believe that you can have it.  The only way to win the NCAA Basketball Tournament is to believe that you can have that one shining moment of triumph.

Learning – identify where you are both strong and weak, and work to accentuate your expertise while you continue to improve where you have identified any deficiency.

Loving – love yourself where you are and understand that you are the perfect version of your current self.  Affirm the things that make you who you are in love.


Remember the the biblical story of Job, where God allowed him to be tormented in many ways under the  the one stipulation that his life be spared.  The story goes on to reveal that at the end of famine, sickness, death, and total destruction Job was restored and blessed with measure greater than he ever had, and no amount of problems could waiver his belief.  Job had confidence.

 

“If you’re having life problems I can help you overcome, I got 99 problems confidence ain’t one…Hit Me!” – Chris McPherson

 

 

 

make the rest of your life, the best of your life!

 

 

Isn’t it Ironic – how you think

Good Evening Friends.  I hope that your week is off to a great start and that you are on your way to becoming your best as you work to accomplish your short, and long term goals daily.  This weeks message is inspired by the interesting dynamic of how things can be the same, and at the same time be so different.

 

Isn’t it ironic don’t you think?  Ironic is a 1995 song performed by Alanis Morissette that discusses how life has a “funny” way of sneaking up on you and helping you out.
The word ironic describes situations and occurrences that happen in the opposite way to what is expected, which typically causes askew amusement as a result.  However it is this amusement that makes the story.

 

As a result of human conditioning and cultural associations, we at times learn to think, act, and become certain ways.
Take for instance the “American Dream” which is the ideal that every US citizen should have an equal opportunity to achieve success and prosperity through hard work, determination, and initiative.  For some this dream is attainable and real, however for others the hope of this thought is not a tangible reality.  So who in their thinking is right and who is wrong? They both are correct.

 

The message here is that life can sometimes become routine and when we fail to use our minds to think, we accept the status quo that is presented to us.  You are and will always be the center of your reality and the controller of your thoughts, actions, and results.  Instead of waiting for things to change or asking for permission maybe we all should begin to create the changes that we want to see and permit ourselves the ability to live fully.  Instead of making excuses for ourselves based on supporting what isn’t, we can begin to accomplish much more with the positive approach of accepting and utilizing what is.  If you can imagine it then it is possible, and if you work for it all of your dreams will literally come true.

 

Consider some of the below ironic facts of life:

The Wright Brothers did not have pilots licenses when the became the first in aviation

Donald Trump became the 45th President of the United States and this is the only government office of any kind he has ever held

Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die

It’s deep how some people can be so shallow

Everyone has a voice but public speaking is the number one fear in America

Every human is born from a woman however misogyny exists

What profits a person to gain the whole world and lose their soul

Audio books exist

Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner won male athlete of the year and woman of the year in the same lifetime

When Henry Ford produced the model T in 1908 he didn’t have a drivers license

Everything is thought to be impossible until it is done

Life is short, but the day is long

At the end of the day you wake up

 

“It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures”

make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear

 


optical illusion

Good day friends, and a happy belated new year to you all.  This weeks post comes as a reminder for us to keep the faith as we work to better ourselves and the world around us.  Recently I found my self in need of an automobile and I ventured through the process of researching cars, trucks, and SUV’s to determine which vehicle would best suit my needs.  During my vetting of dealerships and carfax reports, I found the make, model, and year of my liking and made a purchase.  What I found interesting about the vehicles that I revieved was the omnipresent message that each vehicle contained on it’s passenger side mirror which states “objects in mirror are closer than they appear”


Upon research I learned that the phrase “objects in mirror are closer than they appear” is a required safety warning that is engraved on passenger side mirrors.  According to wikipedia, this requisite is mandated for vehicles in the USA, Canada, India and Saudi Arabia.  It is present because the mirrors’ shape and location gives them a useful viewpoint, however it also makes objects appear smaller than their actual size.  As a result, smaller-appearing objects seem farther away than they actually are, and a driver might make a maneuver such as a lane change assuming an adjacent object is a safe distance away from them, when in fact it is actually closer than imagined.  This warning serves as a reminder to drivers of this potential scenario, and is a warning for their protection.  I would like to offer this not as a warning, but as an affirmed reminder that your dreams, desires, and success is closer than it may appear.

Ok Chris I get it, but the saying is referencing a mirror so how does this apply to me?  Thanks for asking…keep reading below.

A mirror is defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary as “a polished or smooth surface that forms images by reflection”, and the reflected image can only come from an objects true representation.  Our circumstances and realities are direct mirrors of the images that we create around ourselves, and everything that you “see” is a result of you.   This is the reason that if you purchase a car of a certain make and model you begin to notice more vehicles of that make, model, or even color amongst the hundreds of cars that you see on any given day.  Does it mean that there was an influx of your particular car that happened to be on the road that day? No!  What it does mean is that you are more aware of these vehicles because you now have one ,and as a result the reflection of the image you project is more prominent to you.


The above example is true, and applies to most aspects of life.  The way to attain the things that you want is by thinking, acting, and becoming whatever it is that you desire.  To use a cliche phrase “you’ve got to fake it until you make it”, and the truth in this message is that making it only happens once you believe that “it” is already yours.
You are who you are, and you will become whoever you want to be.  My hope is that you will remember this subtle message next time you get into a vehicle and look at the passenger side mirror as it is there to encourage your efforts, and keep you safe along life’s journey.

row, row, row your boat

gently down the stream.

merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

life is but a dream.

make the rest of your life, the best of your life!

I Pledge Allegiance To Myself – The Positive Pledge

img_1517

Good Evening Friends.  I hope that this message finds you well as you continue to become your best.  This weeks post comes in the form of a pledge that is designed to help you develop a positive outlook on your life.  The word pledge is defined as a solemn promise or undertaking, and if you are like me I am sure that you have made promises to something, or someone, at some point.  There are many forms of pledges, however the most important kind is the one that you make to yourself.


One of the most common pledges for Americans is The Pledge of Allegiance which is an expression of ones devotion to flag and pledge-of-allegiance-e1435893959328country.  I remember as a child reciting the pledge of allegiance everyday in grade school right after the start bell rang, and just before the beginning of the school announcements.  Through this process I learned the words of this pledge and could recite it effortlessly when called upon to do so.  Regardless of the acceptance or denial of the words in a pledge, the process of reiterating your promise daily will allow you to reaffirm its purpose.


Consider a pledge as it relates to fraternities and sororities at Colleges and Universities.  A pledge is not just a phrase or statement of devotion (although there are many learned sayings), but in this capacity of the word participants are completely emerged in a process of academic, mental, and physical commitments as pledgees demonstrate their devotion to the organization.

Yo! to the brothers of Kappa Alpha Psi

10256746_10152003052176601_1895364721325172655_oPledging to your country is a patriotic alliance

Pledging a fraternity or sorority is a social alliance

So what is your pledge for a personal alliance?


The below pledge was written to encourage myself and I want to share it with you in good faith that it will empower you to speak positivity into your life. 2014-10-pledge

This pledge is a Chris McPhersn original and it may change and evolve as I do.   In the immortal words of Erykah Badu “Now keep in mind that I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my sh!t.”  Here is my personal attempt to brighten, encourage, and promote you to become more positive in all your ways.

Natural Beauty – shine, restore, refresh


The Positive Pledge: Chris McPherson

I pledge to be positive because it is the best way to be, and when I focus on the positive I can overcome all negativity.

Though the world may seem cruel as others judge, despise, and destroy, I will stay focused on inner peace as it is the source of my joy.

If I can think of things not only as they are but with the hope of what they can be, I will follow the desires of my heart to live alive and totally free.

No matter how difficult or enduring the task I know that the job can be done, because when it comes to being accountable for myself I am the only one.

I fully commit to doing my best in every possible way, and in order to succeed I will always choose to be positive each and everyday.

 

make the rest of your life, the best of your life!

Life is a game – Play it to win

xbox_controller_f_transbg_rgb_2013

5062-mother-teresa-quote-life-is-a-game-play-it

Congratulations to Cubs fans everywhere and the City of Chicago.  Although I am not a Cubs fan directly, I do love the story of an underdog finally reaching success and achieving the ultimate goal.  Some doubters would argue that it was impossible for the Cubs to ever win a championship again, however just like all things it is possible.  (#itispossible)

cubs-win-the-series

It took this franchise 108 years to achieve this ultimate success again, as they won their first championships in back to back fashion in 1907 & 1908.   Last week the sports world was privy to one of the best stories of competition as the Chicago Cubs defeated the Cleveland Indians in extra inning of the world series.  No matter if you are a fan of either of theses teams or the game of baseball in general, we all like to cheer and support outstanding efforts as individuals work to achieve the ultimate goal of becoming the best in the world.

quote-prints_8447-2

Yesterday I was speaking with one of my advisors as we often share thoughts and ideas on how we can improve ourselves, and we began to agree that life is a lot like a game, and the overall goal is to win.


In a game the overall objective is to win, and that occurs when you individually or collectively as a team outperform another at the same tasks.  Although there are various forms of games including board games, sporting games and video games to name a few, life is uniquely like them all.   In a game you are given an objective to reach and rules that apply as to how you can achieve the goal. The rules to the game will vary depending on where/when/how you are playing, but they all still apply.

pic288405_md

The Rules of Life:

You must play to win

You receive one turn and there are no extras

You define your own definition of winning

There is no restart option

There is no reshuffle; you must play your hand

You can redo as many times as you wish

Your starting position doesn’t determine the way you will finish

You can re-define what winning is at any time

The time and effort you spend on your skills will correlate to how you play

You must progress through levels in successive order

The game can end at any time


life-quotes_7312-1

Often we know the facts of how things operate however we exhaust ourselves as we try to break, bend, and function outside of the rules.  “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and courage to change the things that I can”.  I encourage you all to reflect upon your own life as a game, and to examine how you are playing to ensure that you are working toward the objective of winning.  Remember your starting position doesn’t determine the way you will finish, and once you win the game you will be celebrated for your accomplishment forever.

 

make the rest of your life, the best of your life!

Thank You For Being You

 

thank-you-for-being-you

“Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac
Gangsta whitewalls
TV antennas in the back
You may not have a car at all
But remember brothers and sisters
You can still stand tall
Just be thankful for what you’ve got” – William Devaughn

Good evening friends, I am pleased to share a message of appreciation to and for you this week. This weeks post comes in the form of an exercise that is designed to help you affirm your personal worth and bring positive praises your way.

Recently I was doing some work on the topic of gratitude as I am working on ways to help encourage individuals to be more appreciative of themselves as the center of their own joy. The word gratitude is defined as the quality of being thankful and the readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. We often show gratitude to others as a sign of appreciation for theirs efforts and the things that they have done for us. cashier-56a0f1585f9b58eba4b56a26You many go to the local grocery store and show appreciation in the form of saying thank you to the cashier as they give you your change, or you might show gratitude by sending a card to a friend. Regardless of the personal method you choose there are many ways to show your appreciation to others, but when is the last time you showed some appreciation for yourself?

Often times we look for personal gratification outside of ourselves, and based on the word “personal” the gratifications that we get from others doesn’t compare to the fulfillment of appreciation that we give to ourselves.16cf7819584ccd947efab416ee9bc28d  I have learned that personal affirmations, and words of encouragement really do help to build a positive psychology around situations and outcomes.
I am a firm believer that positive thoughts, lead to positive actions, which breed positive results and your ability to say thank you to yourself is one of the best qualities you can poses.


 

The exercise: Write a letter to yourself showing gratitude for you.

Here is my letter, and every time I read it I feel just that much better about me.

Dear Chris,

I wanted to take the time to send you a note to reference some of the many things that I am appreciative and thankful to you for.  I could have written for the rest of my life and not have covered all of the things I am grateful to your for, however here are just a few.

Thank you for:

Your sense of humor, God knows it is needed on a daily basis

Saying no when you know it is best

Letting your light shine for all to see

Believing that you can change the world

Not drinking so much tequila when we went back to Mexico

Treating yourself as you treat others

Admitting when you are wrong

Reading more to learn more

Zip lining in St Kitts, we has a blast

Having passion and being fearless to show it

Being you because in a world where everyone wants to be the same you are growing in your difference

Your persistence, your hard work and dedication are not in vain

The failures, as it is impossible for us to grow better without them

Questioning your beliefs so that you can become firmer in them

Finally getting a Netflix account

Having a dream and perusing it

Loving me first, because of your love I can love others

This letter


I hope this exercise puts a smile on your face, and continues to help you build self confidence and joy for simply being the person that you are.

Thank God for me, whole family getting money that God for E – Kanye West

make the rest of your life the best of your life!

When The Going Gets Tough – What Do You Do?

a86cfd7357fc1a263c6a091be2e559e4

Good evening friends, I hope this message finds you doing well.  This weeks post is very real and personal to me, and is a testament that love will conquer all.  This message is intended  to be encouragement to anyone that has or is battling with the health issues of a loved one.

One year ago today my oldest son Emmanuel was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with Guillian Barre Syndrome or GBS.  GBS as defined by the Mayo clinic is a rare disorder in which your body’s immune system attacks your nerves. img_0520Weakness and tingling in your extremities are usually the first symptoms.  These sensations can quickly spread, eventually paralyzing your whole body. In its most severe form Guillain-Barre syndrome is a medical emergency. Most people with the condition must be hospitalized to receive treatment.

My son had just started middle school, and was playing fall baseball and enjoying his days as an adolescent 11 year old boy when life came at him and our whole family and tested every fiber of our character, beliefs, and patience.  Emmanuel which means “God with us” spent a duration of 10 days in the hospital, 5 of which were in the ICU under the wonderful care of St. Louis children’s hospital.  These 10 days seemed like an entire month or longer, and the process of healing and restoration followed us long after we were released from the hospital as we had to band together as a family and care for Emmanuel as he progressed daily.

img_0551

The blessing is that in less than a years time Emmanuel has made a full recovery, and has no permanent or short term physical effects of GBS whatsoever.  This process (though unwarranted for the worst the worst enemy) allowed me to grow personally, spiritually, and emotionally as I had to be strong  and faithful.

 

So what did I learn from this experience?  Many things, however for the focus of this reading there is only one message:

Some days are tough, and some days will be tougher…but still I, he, we, must find a way to rise.  When tested in life we often ask why or how something could happen, and exactly why us?  The answer to the question may be revealed to you, or you could live a lifetime questioning why certain things are as they are and never find the answer.  My advice for anyone facing adversity it to accept the situation, identify a solution, and work relentlessly towards a better result.

When life gives you lemons, be sure to say thank you.  Because your story may help someone else progress along their journey.

“that which does not kill us, makes us stronger” – Friedrich Nietzsche

img_0428

make the rest of your life, the best of your life

Free Will – What Price Do You Pay


free-lunch

“aint no such thing as a free lunch” – my dad

 

Good labor day to you friends. Whether you are enjoying the day off or you have to work, labor day is in honor of you.  The day itself is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the achievements of the American worker.  When you consider the term labor either in childbirth or physical exertion, we are talking about a term that is synonymous with hard work.  This weeks topic is designed to get you to think about the work you do, and what you are working for.

Consider the topic of “freewill” (free will).  Free Will is the power to act without the constraint of necessity or fate, and is the pure ability to act at one’s own discretion.  This conjuncted phrase is created by two words fee and will.  The word free comes from freedom, and speaks to a state of unconditioned thoughts, actions, and being.3be5e4151c78c4c7c26d437c5af16907  This is like the air that you breath.  It has no place of origin, or destination that it is headed and it moves and is received without condition.  The second word in this phrase that follows free is will.  Will (the improper noun) is defined in various ways as a direct, deliberate, or fixed desire or intention.  It is by this faculty that a person decides and initiates action towards their future results. and no matter what the goal is “will” requires that you be willing.

As a child one of the most cliche questions that I (you as well) often encountered was “what do you want to be when you grow up?”  I have learned that the response to this question will vary based on a persons “free” belief of what their life “will” become, as the answer is “free” to reflect all areas of possibility.  Children will profess to want to be everything imaginable like a doctor, a musician, or even alive, and they are correct in whatever they imagine for themselves…freewill.  The emphasis here is not found only in the answer that a person gives in response to the question, however the the root focus should be on the response itself as this confirms the desire of a future occurrence.  Hope.IT_Decision

So why do few children/grown people become what they want to be?

Through this question we learn that a person can declare what they want to become through their free imagination.   Once decided the path to becoming requires talent, sacrifice, and work  to become the epitome of one’s projected self.  While on the journey to becoming what is most desired, many are faced with adversity or temporary failure and some individuals abandon their thought of ideal self and acquiesce to become something else.

Adversity can come in many forms and the psychological effects of mental adversity far outweigh any physical adversity characteristics.

Physical Adversity Example: If I want to become a history professor I can begin the journey to becoming one.  I would read and learn about as much history as possible, I would consult other historians and learn about their path to success, and I would emulate and replicate the actions of a professor  while blazing my own trail to becoming one.  If I stick with it I will become a professor of history…easy or hard I can do it.

Mental Adversity Example: If I want to become a history professor I can begin the journey to becoming one.  Who am I kidding, people like me that come where I come from, that look like me, and think like me don’t become professors and neither will I…easy or hard I can’t do it.

decision-making-processes1

self reflection:

what do you want to be?

If you are not becoming who you want to be, who/what/when/where/how/why are you becoming?

what one thing will you commit to doing to work towards your improvement?

 to get a different result, you must do something differently 

Everyday of our existence is a new step in our journey to becoming what we want to be when we grow up.   For me, this question constantly rings in the recesses of my mind like a church bell that is stuck on 12:00 o’clock noon.  It is so loud!

You see if you truly believe in your ability to be free, and will yourself towards the apex of your desires you will achieve whatever you want.  While in the process of achieving your goals always remember that you can become what you want to be.  As a trusted friend and mentor recently reminded me “you have to give yourself permission” to do, act, and become anything.  Remember, If you are not permitting yourself to grow up you choose not to exercise your freewill to become what you want.

ACCOUNTABILITY-quote

In the words of the late great NFL Head Coach Denny Green “they are who we thought they were…and we let em off the hook.”  Stay hooked to the ability to grow into your best self, and maximize the value of your freewill.

 

make the rest of your life, the best of your life

 

Go For Gold – What The Olympics Taught Me

rio-olympics-large_trans++ZgEkZX3M936N5BQK4Va8RWtT0gK_6EfZT336f62EI5U

 

Ahh the Olympics, it’s such a  great gathering that  occurs every four years to unite people, countries, and the world in sporting excellence.  As a child growing up I can remember watching Carl Lewis in the olympic games, and I was proud to see the Unites States succeed at any and every event possible.  It is that same excitement that captivates the attention of viewers everywhere as we watch the best human athletes at their craft.  This year in the Rio Olympics USA lead all countries with 121 total medals, and continued in team dominance that we have become accustomed to.

But how do we do it, and what does it take to be the best in the world?  Here’s what I think.

35,064…


In order to make the olympic games individuals have had to sacrifice immensely to create opportunities in pursuit of their dreams.  You pay the cost to be the boss, and the price for greatness is expensive.

OAKLAND, CA - JUNE 13: LeBron James #23 of the Cleveland Cavaliers smiles during the fourth quarter against the Golden State Warriors in Game 5 of the 2016 NBA Finals at ORACLE Arena on June 13, 2016 in Oakland, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 643779261 ORIG FILE ID: 540018048

Consider the training that is required to be the best in the world. 35,064 is the number of hours in a 4 year time span, which mirrors the time gap between the olympics.

Before you go too far and believe that I am going to lecture you on how to use 35,064 hours of your life, you can relax I won’t.  I realize you have to sleep at some point so I prefer to focus on how you use 23,376 hours as this number accounts for the daily eight hour beauty rest. 23,376 hours is a lot of time compared to the number of hours in one day, and little time compared to a human life span.  The similarities of both are found not in the amount of time, but purely in the preciousness of how you use the time itself.  Imagine that you have four years from today for your shot at personal gold, will you put in the work needed to achieve gold?


Here are some of the things I learned from this years games, that may assist you to reach your personal gold.

160814132827-ryan-lochte-0812-large-169

Be a good winner – Once you achieve your success enjoy and appreciate your accomplishments.  Don’t chose to use your platform negatively as no good can ever come from it.

636070726281599760-AFP-F60PGStay in your lane – Keep working and focus on the process of your goals.  Don’t spend your time worrying about what someone else is doing, however stay focused on your task and work hard.  It is easiest to get passed by an opponent when you let up.

ap_oshark_anthony_carmeloDefine your own success – Make sure your definition of achievement pleases you, because only you know what personal successful is.  There are an abundance of ways to become great.

afp-eh81zBecome the best – Maximize your time and receive the maximum reward.  Small daily progress will produce staggering results over time, and in four years you will have gotten a lot of results.

For all of us the clock starts at birth, and the clock will have to enevitably stop at some point.   Winning the game of life is not necessarily in how much time you had, but moreso how you used your time.  In going for your personal gold make your daily work count, and who knows? you may just become the best in the world, after all it is possible.

 

make the rest of your life the best of your life